Supposed to teach them

I hopped into the back of her car excited for the day, the water, the playing, the sun

Hoping no one would see it,

The lump at the nape of my neck,

Tried to mull it over, ripping through the matting

In the bathroom before the horn honked,

Face still red from the tears and the pulling,

It was the first thing she noticed

Little girls do that

Notice

I mean

Your hair…

She said

And then trailed off

My face turning red again

This time with boiling shame

Little girls are supposed to have

Nice hair

I knew that

Nice hair, nice face, nice voice, kind eyes, rosy cheeks, not red, not wet, fitted clothes, not too tight, new, not handed down

She wore hers in braids, the kind that takes two hands, and time, precise hands,

Someone else’s

Little girls are supposed to have nice hair,

We sat in the back

The car smelled of lemon and leather

She smelled like sunscreen

And I smelled like sun

Little girls are supposed to have nice hair

We got to the park

She asked where my towel was

I said I forgot

They had three or four extra

Supposed to have,

She handed me one, blue and pink stripes,

Nice hair,

Her mom paid for our wrist bands

She didn’t notice, she didn’t care, I said thank you profusely

She was hanging on the entry way doors

She asked what was for lunch,

Little girls are,

Her mom responded, and she complained about the flavor of the dessert,

Supposed to,

We walked to our spot, I start to tear up again, I jump into the water, hoping it’ll hide it,

Nice hair,

nice smile, good laugh, no tears, have fun, be kind, say thank you, say please, be polite, look sweet,

Little girls are supposed to have nice hair

What I didn’t know

What I do know now

Is that little girls

are supposed to have nice hair

And tender mothers hands are the ones that are supposed to teach them