Meditation

Originally written: January 2022

Edited: July 2024

I was presented

with

four yellow lights

tonight

driving her home

They were screaming at me to slow down

I didn’t listen

almost running a red or two

but after she went in

I decided to assert my dominance over the

illusion of time

that was breathing down the back of my neck

I listened to the stop lights

from my journey there

and I paused

For some time I waited

I let the ripples in my mind calm,

and I noticed.

Not verbally,

or with thoughts filling my mind

but I noticed,

in a presence that no words are allowed to come

near

No language is allowed in that place I found.

And I drove home.

I listened to music,

I felt the wind in between my fingers.

And I consistently expressed

my free will in

small and

simple ways.

Taking too long at the stop sign,

turning the music up and then turning it down again.

I

practiced

the quieting of my mind

and as I did so,

the pit that usually resides in my stomach,

grew smaller,

the more attention I paid to my surroundings,

the better that beast could sleep.

Then I got home,

and waited for the song to end,

said hello to my body

and my legs specifically

Thanked them for looking so nice in my jeans,

and then invited my thoughts back into my mind

I do believe that presence is important, is necessary

It is where I find joy lives most fully

I think that is what I have learned

The only only space for joy is in the now

Maybe that’s why artists are rarely happy

They make too many connections,

there brain has ties too deeply to their past

and ambitions pulling them too quickly into the future

And art may possibly be the only thing that pulls them down to the now

I’d like to take the long way home in this life,

and my joy is waiting for me there